“My boss hates me,” “I've studied, but I KNOW I’ll fail that exam,” “I shouldn't feel this way, I CAN’T feel this way. Not right now,” “She’s so successful. Next to her, I’m a failure.” – Sound familiar?
A myriad of automatic thoughts fill our heads on a daily basis. They’re called negative thoughts, distorted reasoning, and thinking errors; all different names for the sabotage happening in our own minds. These errors plague our day to day routines but if we begin to recognize them, we can conquer them.
See if any jump out:
Mind Reading: “My boss thinks I’m lazy.” You assume knowledge of people’s thoughts without any observable evidence.
Catastrophizing: “My life is ruined if I don’t pass this evaluation.” You believe the worst possible outcome has happened or will happen. Something so terrible it’s unbearable.
Emotional Reasoning: “I’m so depressed; my marriage just isn’t going to work out because of it.” Your feelings dictate how you see the world instead of using reality based observations.
Personalizing: “We didn’t make the sales quota because I couldn’t close the deal with a customer.” Any failures of the group you attribute solely, or disproportionately, on yourself.
Blaming: “It’s my team’s fault for not picking up the slack. I did everything completely right.” The opposite of the personalizing error. Blame falls on everyone else, without taking your share of responsibility.
Fortune telling: “I’ll fail tomorrow’s exam. I’m sure of it.” You predict the future. The worst possible outcome will happen or someone is going to sabotage you.
Dichotomous Thinking: . “I failed to get the job, I’m a failure.” The all or nothing approach
Regret Orientation: “I could’ve gotten that job if I hadn't said that”, “I would've closed that sale if I had tried harder.” Could’ve, should’ve, and would've. Your focus is on past failures instead of the challenges facing you right now.
There are more thinking errors in existence; these are a few of the most common. The key to our success is being able to identify and challenge these errors of thought. Naming the error is critical. It gives the distortion a label and helps zero in on them as they pop into our heads.
Which errors do you identify with? The next time you catch yourself with a distortion, write it down and identify it. Recognizing our cognitive distortions is the first step in challenging, and then eliminating, them.
As always, you can follow James on Twitter via@NerdCred
As always, you can follow James on Twitter via
You're absolutely spot on, and when these habitual ways of thinking all come together, as they may do several times a day, it can be a perfect storm. These are stuck records.
ReplyDeleteIt helps to slowly begin to detach our thoughts from our identity, like they're passengers on a bus - they got on at some stage, and they can get off again. And some are not paying their fare...!
Interesting read. I also get it "spot on" from S. Parker. Good explanation.
ReplyDelete